I didn’t have sex at the Texas All-State Spanking Party. 

Not once. 

No penetration. 

No oral. 

Nothing most people would even classify as “sex.” 

But what I experienced over those four days left me more undone, more intimate, and more deeply seen than most of the relationships I’ve ever been in. 

This is the story of the best sex I never had, and the gifts of power, pain, and desire that I got to receive. 

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I didn’t arrive at the Texas All-State Spanking Party with big expectations. My relationship with the German had just ended. I hadn’t pre-arranged any scenes or signed up for immersive events. Normally, I would have done my research, messaged people in advance, and maybe booked something structured, like a school role-play. 

Late one night, ahead of the event, I went through the list of attendees and found a profile that stood out. There was something about it. It wasn’t flashy, just well-written and honest. I messaged him and told him I liked his profile. While we chatted, the conversation was easy and curious. Nothing about it felt intense. We were both just openly talking and interested in making a connection.

On day one, while he drove to the hotel, I mentioned I needed water and asked if he would bring me some. It was a small ask, but I wanted to see how he responded. Surprise, surprise, he showed up at my room with a couple of cases of the stuff. I was with my roommate, but I invited him in anyway. The three of us sat and talked for a while, and there was an immediate sense of ease between us. 

My roommate assumed we already knew each other. 

We didn’t. 

But we/it felt familiar.

We started negotiating right there in front of my friend. He and I talked openly about boundaries, desires, and aftercare. We were clear about what we wanted and how we wanted it to feel. We discussed spanking as motivation for things I was struggling with, like posting consistently. 

I explained that I am not someone who enjoys pain for pain’s sake. I enjoy offering my pain to someone who knows how to receive it. When I suffer for a partner’s pleasure, it feels devotional

When he told me he liked to cuddle after scenes and asked if that was something I would be open to, not only was it welcome, but it was exactly what I wanted and needed too. As a way to try and avoid subdrop, I also really needed him to be available to text the next day to check in. This is a NON-Negotiable for me. Now that we’ve got all our bases covered... It was time to play. 

The first scene was relatively light. He pulled me over his knee and spanked me. It felt playful but real. We established a sense of rhythm immediately. During our cuddling after the scene, each of us started talking about all kinds of random things. I didn't know it at the time, but that moment held more weight than I expected. It reminded me of the end of a yoga class, during Savasana when your body sinks and lets go. I didn’t want to leave. Neither did he. But we both had plans, so I got up, got dressed, and left his room.

Later that night, I couldn't help but text him. 

I asked if we could cuddle again. 

Which was a little out of character for me. Usually, I like to keep some distance when I meet someone new, but with this guy, I wanted more of that softness, that space to let go.

When I got to his room, the energy was different. Still warm, but... heavier? We had both said a lot earlier that day about what turned us on. I'd told him that I liked pain with meaning, that I wanted to be used in the service of someone else’s desire. I'd told him I could be masochistic under the right conditions. 

I had told him the parts I usually don't say out loud. 

He met me with intense vulnerability and enthusiasm, and it was quickly becoming a theme between us. 

I shared, 

He executed. 

That night, he gave me exactly what I asked for and coupled it with his own desires.

He spanked me again, this time harder. 

He yelled. 

He growled. 

He told me I belonged to him and that he would treat me however he wanted. 

There was a conviction in the way he said it. It didn’t feel like a line. It felt like I really was owned, and my autonomy was a thing of the past. At one point, he grabbed my nipples and squeezed hard until I whimpered. 

Then he looked at me and told me how happy it made him that I took it for him. 

I'd never experienced this feeling with someone so quickly. The feeling that happens when you show someone your most tightly guarded desire, and they actually lean in. I was melting.

After the spanking, we lay in bed again for our post-scene cuddle, and he casually mentioned that he liked corner time. 

In the spanking world, it’s a well-known part of our play. Some people love it. Others hate it. 

I told him I was open to it, but fell on the side of hating it. 

He waited a beat or two, just long enough for it to not seem like we were reading off a script, and then sent me directly to the corner and told me to shake my ass for him.

Standing in the corner was embarrassing enough but having to shake my ass..

was an egregious abuse of power. I felt exposed in a way I hadn’t before. Physical pain was something I could handle. I mean, I embrace it!  Humiliation tapped into something else, and naturally, that was his thing. He liked to push that button. What made it work was that I liked the feeling of reluctantly giving him what he wanted. That tension is what made our entire exchange more real. Like I could take it out of my body and examine it!

That is when I heard  “I’m going to masturbate while you stand there.” So I stood there and I just kept on shaking.

 Eventually, the tension was so high that I asked if he would cum on my back. I couldn't help myself. I wanted it. I needed it. It’s one of my favorite things. He walked over, pulled me over to the bed by my neck, laid me on my stomach, and came all over me.

After showering and getting dressed, I joined him again for some much-needed cuddling. It honestly helped put the pieces of me, he’d taken apart, back together. When it was time to go, he walked me back to my room.

On the surface, he was calm and polite. 

He was thoughtful. 

Generous. 

The kind of man who brings you water when you ask, and walks you to your door at the end of a date. 

But there was something else inside him. Something darker. It reminded me of Joe Goldberg from You. Not the part that kills people. The part that hides an obsessive intensity behind a gentle voice. 

He was two people. 

In public, he was kind and conscientious. 

In private, he was focused and feral. 

It wasn’t an act. It was something real that only came out when the door closed.

That was just the first day, and I knew something had already shifted. 

 I didn’t know who this guy really was. He felt like two completely different people depending on whether we were in or out of a scene. That duality thrilled me. I liked being scared while knowing I was safe, and questioning, at the same time, whether I really was. 

That edge, the not knowing, THAT was my ultimate fantasy.

Stay tuned for Day 2... It gets... better.

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